Recently our 8th graders were introduced to “sentence sweat shop” where problematical sentences from the Significant Adult RRDs (revised rough drafts) were ferreted out, analyzed and edited by the class and then by peer editors for both grammatical issues and clarity of thought as well as expression.
Here's the drill:
1. I highlight sentences with issues as I edit the RRDs. Typically, this amounts to 3-10 sentences per student. I use the traffic light approach: A green sentence means: Go girl! (ie it highlights a particularly excellent sentence...these are RARE!) A yellow sentence indicates caution: awkward, inept, confusing. A red (or more truthfully, hot pink) sentence screams: STOP! These are usually fragments or sentences with such extreme issues that they must be reworked in order to proceed.
2. I then turn the yellow sentences into sentence strips which three different peer editors then rewrite/rework. This is where the sweat - both literal and metaphorical - comes in. Students sit at tables with piles of scratch paper and attack these problematical sentences. They attach a given sentence to the top of a page, then try to rewrite it, conferring with the author if necessary. Once a given student has taken a run at the sentence, she passes it to the next student until the problem sentence has been reworked at least three times.
3. The corrected/edited strips are then given back to the author who is free to borrow any part or all of the suggestions her editors have offered. In this way, the author has multiple choices for editorial improvement as she works towards a new and vastly improved Final Draft (FD)
Needless to say, this is a time-consuming, arduous process. But...and...it works! We will be applying this method to our High School Essays which are currently in the peer editor stage. The most amazing thing: many of our girls admit to actually enjoying "sentence sweat shop!" Go figure!
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